I’m so embarrassed about my current behaviours and it’s making it hard to seek help

Have you ever felt too embarrassed to seek help for something you’re worried about?

If so, you’re not alone. Most people will experience this at some point. Whether it’s a physical symptom, a situation they find themselves in, or a mental health problem, embarrassment can stop people seeking help.

Is shame to blame?

Rightly or wrongly, what often lies beneath embarrassment is shame. What if people find out and judge you, or pity you, or think less of you? Maybe if you ask for help people will think you are making a fuss over nothing. Maybe you don’t even deserve help – after all, there is always someone worse off, right? But thinking this way doesn’t help anyone, least of all you!

Soldiering on sometimes does more harm than good.

You’d never do an assault course with a sprained ankle, because it would probably make it worse. Likewise, sometimes it’s wiser to seek mental health support even if you’re worried that you’re “not ill enough”, because early intervention can sometimes head off bigger problems down the line.

Do I really need therapy?

Therapy is not just about fixing a problem once it has happened. Therapy can also:

  • Help you understand patterns of behaviour – why you do the things you do
  • Gain a new perspective about your past and your future – understand the past and see new possibilities ahead
  • Identify techniques to deal with life’s challenges – including practical tools for difficult situations
  • Challenge unhelpful thinking styles that are keeping you stuck -rewiring your brain so you react differently in the future
  • Learn to identify and manage difficult emotions – regulation techniques to soothe your senses and surf cravings or urges

All of these can help you to look after your mental health and wellbeing

Embarrassment is normal but probably misplaced.

I had a physical health check this week and, to be honest, I found it all a bit embarrassing. “Dr, now that I’ve talked to you about my bowel health, can I get your advice on these painful bunions?” But I went through it because I value my health and I value myself.

According to NHS data, in England cervical screening currently prevents 70% of cervical cancer deaths. If everyone attended screening regularly, 83% could be prevented. Similarly, according to The Nursing Times, 42% of the general public have never visited their GP to discuss concerns related to their bladder or bowel, despite the NHS estimating that between three and six million of us are living with some form of incontinence-related issue.

I understand if you are embarrassed but I promise I won’t be.

Perhaps you fear that you are the only person who does/thinks/feels this way? I have to say, that’s unlikely. Of course, that’s easy for me to say. One of the privileges of being a therapist is that people trust you enough to tell you things they often haven’t told anyone else. As a result, I know that many people are out there, doing/thinking/feeling things they’re embarrassed about, believing they are the only one. But imagine the relief you might feel learning that a) you are not alone and b) there is help available.

 Reading this blog is a first start.

The fact that you are here reading this means you have taken the first step towards improving your mental health – so well done. Now I want you to ask yourself a question. If someone you value came you to and said they were struggling but were too embarrassed to ask for help, what would you advise them to do? Would you encourage them to be brave and reach out, or would you tell them to struggle on in silence?

Help is available and you are worthy of it.

To find out more about the mental health support available at YourCBT, book your free 15 minute discovery call or email [email protected]

 

 

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