How can I tell if I need therapy? 4 key questions to ask. 

Is something stopping you from leading the life you want to lead?

Do you feel stuck and unsure of how to change things? If so, you aren’t alone. Most of us will go through periods of feeling trapped in ways of thinking and acting that can stop us leading the life we want to lead.

We all face obstacles from time to time, and we can’t always change the world around us. However, we can change how we navigate it.

If you believe that your current thoughts, feelings or behaviours are having a negative effect on your life and are holding you back, I’d encourage you to consider therapy.

You might find asking yourself the following 4 questions helpful. 

1.Have you noticed changes in your mental well-being?

Is your mood lower? Are you more anxious than usual? Do things bother you more than they would have in the past? Are you finding it harder to concentrate?

2. Have you noticed changes in your physical wellbeing?

Our mental health has a huge effect on our physical health. If you usually rely on distracting yourself and soldiering on, you have effectively trained yourself not to notice signs of mental distress. However, ignoring things like anxiety or low mood doesn’t mean they go away, and they might manifest themselves physically. Things you might notice include (but are not limited to) teeth grinding, unexplained aches and pains, sleep disturbances or changes in your digestion.

3. Have you noticed changes in your behaviour? 

Have you stopped doing things you used to enjoy? Are you avoiding people or situations because you can’t face it?

Perhaps you are using ‘safety behaviours’? These are things we do that make things seem better or more manageable in the short term but tend to make things worse in the long term. Examples include:

  • Drinking more alcohol 
  • Eating changes – eg bingeing on food or becoming focused on dieting
  • Impulsive shopping or gambling
  • Using risky behaviours 

Have other people said they are concerned about you?

It’s possible that they can spot that you are struggling easier than you recognise it in yourself. 

Let’s assume that you’ve asked yourself these questions and have realised that you might need help.

If you’re still unsure about accessing therapy, ask yourself this. What’s really stopping you?

Is it fear, making you feel it might be easier to keep putting on a brave face than face up to what lies beneath ?

Is it low self esteem, telling you that you aren’t deserving of help? After all, there’s always someone worse off, right?

Is it shame, the belief that you should be able to handle this on your own?

Try this mental exercise.

Picture yourself as a young child. Would you say to that child, “Man up you wimp, you don’t deserve help, you should be ashamed of yourself for feeling this way”? 

Hopefully you are thinking, “No of course I wouldn’t. Saying that to them would only make things worse. It certainly wouldn’t bring out the best in them.”

Bring out the best in yourself.

Get the help you need. There really is no right or wrong way to live a life and we only get one shot at it. Don’t let fear, or shame, or feeling unworthy hold you back. 

Help is available and you are worthy of it.

To find out more about book your free 15 minute discovery call or email [email protected].

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Are you feeling tense, worried and stressed?

Perhaps these feelings are fairly new, or maybe you’ve been experiencing them for some time? Whatever your experience of anxiety, I hope the following information will be helpful to you.

Modern life can be incredibly tough.

·       We are bombarded with media coverage of the world’s woes.

·       Social media can make us feel as though our lives don’t measure up with other peoples’.

·       Young people sitting exams feel enormous pressure to perform and achieve.

·       The world can feel scary and overwhelming.

It’s normal to feel anxiety from time to time. However, sometimes anxiety can become so distressing that it interferes with our ability to lead the life we want. If you find that your anxiety is severe and persistent, it might be time to seek help. You aren’t alone – in the UK over 8million people are living with an anxiety disorder at any one time – but there are treatments that can help.

Why does my anxiety feel so ‘physical’.

Have you noticed how anxious thoughts and feelings can affect how you physically feel? Here is a list of physical symptoms that you might notice when you are feeling anxious:

·       Butterflies in your stomach

·       Increased heart rate.

·       Feeling breathless.

·       Sweating.

·       Trembling.

·       Headaches.

·       Difficulty concentrating.

·       Dry mouth

·       Digestive changes

Unfortunately these physical symptoms can become a further source of worry, adding to your anxiety.

A lot of these symptoms can be explained by evolution. We all have an in-built fight or flight reflex that was originally designed to help us overcome threats to our survival. Bodily changes occur to help us either run faster or fight more effectively. So, our heart beats more quickly to pump more oxygenated blood to our muscles. Our bowels prepare to void (leading to those butterflies in your stomach) because animals run faster with empty bowels. Your concentration is affected because your brain’s amygdala takes charge of your actions – great for fast reactions, not so great for clear, nuanced thinking!

Common types of anxiety.

If you have ever sought professional help for anxiety you might have been told that you have a specific form of anxiety disorder. Here are the most common types with very brief descriptions. Please remember this is not an exhaustive list but it should give you an understanding of how complex and varied anxiety can be.

·       Generalised Anxiety (excessively worrying about daily life)

·       Panic Disorder (characterised by panic attacks)

·       Specific Phobias (fear of an object, animal, situation or experience)

·       Agoraphobia (fear and avoidance of situations where escape might not be possible)

·       Social Anxiety (debilitating fears about social situations)

·       Health Anxiety (excessively worrying about your health)

How do I break out of this anxiety bubble?

As with many health conditions, sometimes just understanding what is happening when you are feeling anxious can help you feel a little bit better. In other words, you are less likely to worry about why you are always worried if you have an insight into your current difficulties.

Often writing things down is a good place to start. You could use the following 5 questions whenever you notice your anxiety rising:

·       What has triggered my anxiety? For example, it could be a place, a person, an event, or a thought popping into your head.

·       What thoughts am I having?

·       What emotions am I feeling?

·       What physical sensations do I notice in my body?

·       What action(s) do I want to take?

Break free and live more freely.

There is therapy to address anxiety and people often can and do get better. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is highly recommended for the treatment of anxiety disorders. The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) recommends CBT as the first line treatment for anxiety.

How does therapy for anxiety work?

CBT takes a step by step approach:

1.         Identifying and challenging the thoughts that trigger your anxiety and keep it going

2.         Teaching you techniques to change your current beliefs and develop more helpful thinking patterns

3.         Helping you to test your current beliefs, in a supportive setting, so that you learn from positive experiences

4.         Exposure therapy, whereby you develop a hierarchy of feared situations and gradually face them in a structured manner.

I can guide you through all of the above. I can help you to understand your personal experience of anxiety and how changing your current thoughts and behaviours could set you free.

Help is available and you are worthy of it.

To find out more about treatment to overcome anxiety at YourCBT, book your free 15 minute discovery call or email [email protected]

 

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